Men complain of wives or women turning their children against them all the time and making them ( children) believe their fathers are the problem and hence they should avoid them. Between a father and a mother, you can’t downplay the extent to which mothers would go to make sure their children are well cared for and they end up having a better relationship in most cases with their children than fathers.
On the other hand, fathers’ sacrifices are not often noticed, yet their role is always that invisible force that keeps a system as a whole together from grinding to a halt.
Interestingly, a father stands a higher chance of abandoning their children than a mother unless she is a careless mother or the circumstances are beyond her control, but the father can easily not take responsibility after all the child didn’t come from his stomach so sometimes that attachment isn’t there but mothers find it difficult to do that. You can see a father jump ship into another woman and start doting babies around, but it is almost impossible to see a mother doing that unless she’s very reckless.
They carry the child, they feel the pain, and they have this profound bond that is almost inseparable, so you will see them stay with the child in most cases than the father. of course, some fathers would never abandon their children for anything even though fathers have poor records when it comes to them, but the few who stay deserve their flowers.
THEN, SOCIETY AND OWNERSHIP
A man can disappear in a child’s life for many years and later surface from nowhere to demand full control of the child, he abandoned several years ago after the mother had gone through the mill to raise the child alone. This man can sue the woman in traditional courts like the chief palace, family elders, etc., and all they will do is, reprimand him and later plead with the woman to give the child to the man since men own a child and not a woman.
The mother family, both father and mother, would sadly be involved in persuading their daughter that children don’t belong to women but men, and even as much as the woman might want to resist this practice, she can’t win it because his church, family, chief and other stakeholders involved in this would all come to a conclusion that women don’t own children and the man would win at the end no matter how long it may go.
If you find yourself in this woman’s shoes you would be deeply hurt by how the society has been unfair and all the man gets is reprimanded and makes apologies that cannot heal the deep wound, frustration, and pain she has endured all this while. Then again, you go back to history or even the bible. You will see the same replay where fathers were seen to own the child more than the woman, and this has been repeated for centuries even in today’s legal structures in the society that now tries to give women some recognition these biases and injustice would still exist and women would continue to face them.
If a married woman does something wrong, let’s say adultery or maybe any other act she would be sent home or the marriage would end immediately and the children don’t go with her, but stay with their father till eternity and it is even a shame in our society where a child decides to follow his/her mother in the mother’s family home and live there. The mockery alone would make the child run back to his father’s home. Society and even the Bible have been unfair to women, but well, it is my view, and I could be wrong.
